Monday, June 11, 2012
"When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide."
Bob Fosse once considered doing the choreography of the works of Ayn Rand. "Atlas Frugged" was the first concept.
Nipplelodian (the network for under-nourished, non-breast fed children) had proposed a series about a female child star jazz-funk group: The Jon Benet Ramsey Lewis Trio was quietly shelved.
In the sixties, Johnson & Johnson suggested a line of bath products inspired by The Man from U.N.C.L.E. David McTallcum Powder only made it to the testing stage.
Likewise, in later years musician Peter Hammill asked Napoleon Solo to join his band, but sadly, Robert Vaughn der Graaf Generator never performed at the Roundhouse.
The planned collaboration of Jethro Tull and Yes never brought forth Thick as a Brick Relayer.
I would love to start a new town called Moderation. Alcoholics could live there with respect. They would never feel guilty saying, "I only drink in Moderation."
Likewise, in this town, I would name one street Not in Service. This would make waiting for your correct bus more fun.
Robert Plant originally sang "Hey, hey, Mama. When you move your groins. It makes me glad you're from Des Moines." Later, sober, this version of "Whole Lotta Lunch" was discarded.
Jimmy Page was asked to join a disbanded Bachman-Turner Overdrive. Page-Turner is still a mystery. But then, a good mystery should always be a Page-Turner.
Not many people know that Bob Dylan loved the mystery comedies of Nick and Nora Charles so much, he created "Ballad of a Thin Man." An obsession with the lead actress inspired the song, "Loy, Lady, Loy."
If Bea Arthur had married William Holden, she would be Bea Holden. If she had then made a film with The Thin Man's Myrna Loy, they would have been Loy and Bea Holden. Or was that an Irish Vaudeville team?
Alka Salsa was briefly produced by the Miles Davis Laboratory.
Travel author Rick Steve's marriage ended when he accidentally sent a misspelled postcard from Amsterdam saying; "Wish you were her."
Gene Barry did not appear in the pilot episode of the sixties Saudi Arabian detective show, Burqa's Law.
The first concert merchandise ever sold was after a performance of Trois Gymnopedies, Paris. The item was an Erik Satie shirt.
Where are the great porno performers of the '70s? We know what happened to Johnny Trousersnake Disease. But does anyone fondly recall Veronica Nose, Amber Grope, Bambi Steam, Desiree Humper and Vanessa del Groppo? And the virile efforts of Jamie Odors and Herschel Sewage? I miss those all night shows at the Screaming Beaver theatre. Downtown Los Angeles, at 5th and Hell.
Stop me if you've heard this one before: Armin Mueller-Stahl, with his new wife Lesley and their adopted son Nick, are heading to a horse farm in Chatsworth to film a scene about Josef Stalin in a barn, when on the Ventura Freeway...guess what happens to the car's engine?