Sunday, March 17, 2013

"You Gotta Go Oww!"

I gave up being a Narcissist, when I got out of the pool.
Going outside in the cold night, I confuse new companions by saying "RAYMOND!"
"Raymond?" they ask, giving puzzled look.  "B-R-R-R-R-R!"
After seeing "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, why not "Martin Luther King Vampire Hunter?"  "I have a dream...AND a SHARP STICK!"

Music for the Elderly:  Vic Damone & Groan.

Charles Dickens gets a tan:  David Coppertone.


"LICHTEN AUF!"  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe shouted at a group of hecklers during his short lived career in stand up komedy.  He wrote "The Sorrows Of Young Werther" between sets at the Berchtesgaden Bier Keller und Belly Laff Klub.  It was here his sketch "Who's On Faust?" bombed.

Biblical references on In-N-Out Burger packaging.  Whatever happened to separation of church and steak? 
I have a deceased Israeli Prime Minister and Stateswoman in my left aural cavity.  It's a Cold in My Ear.
Would original Seventies band, The Babys, also be considered a Gerber Shop Quartet?
Rommel got his news from Desert Fox.
Army Surplus Store End of the Year Sale:  "Now is the Winter of Our Discount Tents!"
Every Monday evening the wife and I listen to Maya Pootie.  Similar in style to Yma Sumac from Uranus.
EMO Music for the Elderly: the Cocteau Twinge.
EMO Music for the Elderly: PULP-itations.
"It's like the Civil War, but with cell phones."  Phil O' Sophocles.
"It's still the Dark Ages.  Only the lighting has changed."  Phil O' Sophocles. 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

"Picnic Boogie"

Wanks For the Memories...The famous massage parlour chain is having a Spring Cleaning Sale on Happy Endings.  Full price for The Mount Vesuvius.  Half off on the Stubby Kaye.

Chief Justice of the Supreme Court drives a Torque Mazda.

I used to drive a 1976 Marquis de Sade.  It had On the Rack and Pinion Steering.

Jazz in Religion: John the Be Boptist.

At Ronnie Snott's Acid Jazz Club: Hugh Mingus.  He was HUGE!

Rejected theme song from Lincoln: "I Got You Abe."

New Wave Music for the Elderly: The Truman League (featuring Phil Oakey and his brother Jack).

Hard Rock Music for the Elderly: Gums N' Roses.

Heavy Metal Music for the Elderly: Black Sitbath.

You know in France, those vampire/werewolf movies are called The Toilet Saga. ("twah-let").

New Films That Suck: Bruce Willis as David Hemmings.  "Blow Hard."

At Ronnie Snott's Acid Jazz Club: Saxophone Rohmer with Flute Manchu.  An evening of Limehouse Music.

TGM (Turgid Gastric Movies): "The Last Heterosexual On Earth" (1974).  Vincent Tag, Virginia Drapes, Lyle Flooring.  2nd film adaptation of sci-fi author Richard Mattress story, "Do You Die Here Often?"  Crisp B&W cinematography can't lift this feature's limp portrait of transvestite undead.  Drags mostly.

Five films by Spielberg on Race: The Color Purple, Amistad, Schindler's List, Lincoln and Duel.

Prog Muzik for the Elderly: CAN't.

Prog Muzik for the Elderly: Amon Drool 2.

Time (Way) Out Restaurant Guide suggests an Order from the Golden Dawn.  Chef Aleister Barley is a Master of the Take Away.