Tuesday, December 11, 2012

"My pink half of the drainpipe."

My pet doctor scared me when he diagnosed surgery for my lizard.  He told me I needed a reptile operation.
 
In Prague, the most popular breakfast cereal is Rice Czechs.
 
Christopher Lee as Dracula sings MacArthur Park: "Someone left the cape out in the rain."
 
Sir Michael's favourite game is Back Gambon.

EMO Music for the Elderly: Belle and Sebastian Cabot.
 
Rip Torn while John Hurt.
 
Peter Greenaway's Aborted Medical Film: Alcohol Damage...The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Liver.
 
Peter Greenaway's Aborted Medical Film: Eye Surgery...The Draughtsman's Contacts.
 
In 1984, Big Brother smoked Winstons.  Lawrence of Arabia smoked Camels.  Mrs. Santa Claus smoked Virginia Slims.  The Witchfinder General smoked Salems.  The Prime Minister smoked Parliament. Luciano smoked Luckys.  Two Stooges, Larry and Moe smoked L & Ms.  The Duke smoked Marlboros.  The Lord smoked Chesterfields.  New England fishermen smoked salmon.
 
Chinese bear trainers are often seen begging for money.   Many of them are panda handlers.
 
Updated Product Placement: ChITI ChITI BANgK BANgK.
 
Federico Fellini's cheesiest movie: La Dolce Velveeta.
 
Italy's Biggest Adult Female Star: VaGina Lollobrigida.
 
The most relaxed Producer in Hollywood was Darryl F. Xanax.
 
Pygmalion in China by George Bernard Rickshaw.
 
Studies show that people who work in bus or train stations have a higher risk for illness.   I think it's terminal.
 
Sherlock Holmes had a secret fetish and revealed it whenever he shouted, "The game's afoot!"  If physically excited, in inner circles, this was referred to as having a "Rathboner."