Tuesday, November 27, 2012

"You know my name (look up the number)."

Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: So he won't leave fingerprints.
 
Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: So he doesn't get nicotine stains.
 
Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: To hide the gang tattoos.
 
Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: To search for drugs on other toons.
 
Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: Has phobia when shaking hands of Jews, homosexuals, commies, hippies and women of an easy nature.
 
Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: To hide wedding ring from first marriage.  Minnie musn't know!
 
Mickey Mouse Wears Gloves: To cover up nervous sweat, lingering odors and that stickiness from habits not outgrown.
 
Lucasland: Goofy and Jar Jar Binks are related.
 
Failure in Translation: Dutch listeners think Carly Simon is saying, "I had dreams, they were clogs in my coffee."
 
Mickey Mafiosa will be played by Al Topocino.
 
The Angina Monologues: In the Early Sixties, hearts would flutter at the sight of Burlesque Queen, Chesty Pains.
 
Dingyland: Two attractions will be combined.   Alice in Wonderland will become the Mad Hatterhorn Ride.
 
EuroDingyland: The monorail plays Stereolab.
 
Ian Anderson rejected concept album of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Thick as a Kubrick.
 
Unfinished screenplay about women who refused sex with Stanley: Thighs Wide Shut.
 
Updated Product Placement: Ma & Pa Skittles.
 
Stephen King on Acid Again: Miniature Golf Course built over graveyard. Putt Cemetery.