Monday, February 13, 2012

"You mean an early clue to the new direction?"

More chatter to get people to distance from you:

Pixar films are going to animate classics from Russian literature.  First up: Tolstoy Story.

The candy favourite among masochists is S & M & Ms.

Among painters, the Impressionists are not my favourites.  None of them can do a decent Jimmy Stewart, James Cagney or Edward G. Robinson.

Comparing the S.S. to the C.I.A., I find Gestapo men (and women) were better dressed.

Fans of Sherlock Holmes with a fiber shortage are sometimes called the Baker Street Irregulars.

A curse of getting older is having more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

The Eskimos have only made one porno film.  It's called Deep Nose.

An early case of depression prompted suicide by slashing my wrists.  However an innate fear of razor blades made my attempt with a Lady Schick futile.

My parents dismissed my belief that I had been adopted.  Why then on the back of my birth certificate did it say "printed at Knott's Berry Farm?"

Porsche is considering a new off road vehicle: The Karl Land Rover.

When the Venus de Milo was sexually assaulted by a man in 1776, the charge was statutory rape.

Lord Byron was a private member of the Club Foot.

Have you read the new biography, J. Edgar Hoover: The Man and the Vacuum?  It sucks.

Does Putin have a rasp?

Mickey Mouse always wears gloves so he never leaves prints.

Bugs Bunny was cinema's biggest transvestite.

If Joseph Cotten had married Slim Pickens...Well, you can see where that's going, can't you?

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