Monday, February 6, 2012

"You don't see many of these nowadays, do you?"

Cocktail Conversation (and How to Put an End to It Immediately):

Did you see that picture of Mitt Romney and his family on the Sunday Parade Magazine?  I thought it was an ad for HBO's Big Love.

The estate of Aldous Huxley and Home Depot are promoting a new line of housing improvements.  First out are The Sliding Glass Partitions of Higher Consciousness and The Windows of Awareness.

I had a dream about you last night, but unfortunately I slept through most of it.

You haven't lived until you've heard Henry Kissinger's rendition of Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild Side.

Zamfir was once a member of Joy Division.

Jean-Paul Sartre's No Exit has been updated and is called No Off Ramp.

A new science fiction series about a world run by interior decorators is coming out.  It's called Planet of the Drapes.

How many angels can give head on a pin?

Slim Fast announces product that can turn thick bricks thin.

Typographical error turned silent film star great Lon Chaney into the Man of a Thousand Feces.

Huey Lewis recording song for toupee replacement company.  Title: I Want A New Rug.

Rejected pilot for spy series featuring Victorian foot fetishists. The Man from A.N.K.L.E.

When Ann Coulter drinks tomato juice, she looks like a thermometer.

The Blue Nun, Blue Man Group and the Smurfs have all dropped Blue Cheer.

Piers Morgan and Pierce Brosnan both have Pierced Nipples.

Carl Jung once said after trying absinthe..."If you are bi-sexual, psychopathic and schizophrenic, than you are a bi-psycho built for two."

A new coffee shop called Deja Vu was soon to open in Santa Barbara.  When asked if I was going, I replied, "No, I've already been there."