Tuesday, November 22, 2011


"...And you'd like to be the sort of person who can use words like inarticulate?"

On Space Pirate Radio, I am proud (humbly) to have introduced German imported experimental music to commercial radio.  The German hipsters, inspired by Pink Floyd and Jefferson Airplane and all things electronic, ethnic, eastern and eclectic.  When this peculiar, non-American rock began to be noticed by Westerners, the uninspired needed a label for it.

I am pleased that in my entire history of broadcasting, I NEVER ONCE called this genre KRAUTROCK.  The term, then and now, makes me sick to my stomach.  This hideous description was created by the clueless cretins who had NO IDEA what the German Experimental Music Scene was all about.  Just a lump all name for something that inarticulate xenophobes used to brand music that didn't have English lyrics some of the time, and was performed by possible Aryan types from the Deutsche Republic.

Progressive?  As progressive as calling Blues and Jazz, Post Modern Minstrel Music.  That's N-tertainment, in a Word.  Arschloches!

And while we're at it, how about Italian progressive?  Banco del Mutuo Soccorso and Premiata Forneria Marconi.  Shouldn't we put a sticker on their LPs?  WOPMUSIC.  "Wop, wop, wop muzik!  Everybody talking about...Wop Muzik!"

Granada and Triana from Spain?  SPICROCK?

Sadistic Mika Band and Yellow Magic Orchestra?  NIPROCK, of course.

Ange, Atoll, Heldon and Malicorne from France?  FROGROCK?  How about FROGRESSIVE MUSIC?  Magma would have to be FROGFUSION.  ("What we got here is a Ball of Frogfusion.")

I admit I'm going off on a rant here ("A FINE ride for the cranky"), but I feel focused and justified.  I HATE LABELS.  They are the cliff notes of the uninspired.  When you are in the realm of something new, it doesn't have to be indexed immediately.  Only LATECOMERS to the party need a description, and then ALMOST ALWAYS for marketing purposes only.  "I don't know what you've got here Boy, but HERE'S how we'll sell it."

Anyway... KRAUTROCK, the term offends me. And don't even GET me started on the label New Age Music!  Excitement over something new can be quickly neutered by a dull description--a philosophical ethnic slur.  People who cry "MURDER!" can be dismissed as "conspiracy BUFFS."  Rebels become Patriots.  Allies become Terrorists.  How quickly a feeling can be changed by a turn of phrase.  Or a belief altered in a brand name.

So to all of the German artists I introduced on Space Pirate Radio, including...Amon Duul (1 AND 2), Tangerine Dream, Can, Ash Ra Tempel, Kraftwerk, Popul Vuh, Faust, Cluster with a C and Kluster with a K, Neu, Harmonia, La Dusseldorf, Guru Guru, Floh de Cologne, Eloy, Jane, Embryo, Niagara, Klaus Schulze, Scorpions, Novalis, Deuter, Al Gromer Khan, 18 Karat Gold, SFF, Michael Hoenig, Nina Hagen, Gina X Performance, Eroc, Grobschnitt, Sweet Smoke, Eberhard Schoener (with a pre-Police Sting and Andy Summers), Cosmic Jokers, Walter Wegmuller, Peter Michael Hamel, Propaganda, Thomas Fehlmann, Einsturzende Neubauten, Mouse On Mars, etc., etc., my apologies. For the shortsighted, unenlightened Westerners, clueless, tuneless and full of fear, when the space for knowledge is empty, but the tummy must feel full.

Did any German folks buy American music filed under YANKROCK?  How about WANKROCK?

Zen Question: "What is the sound of one hand wanking?"

Yoda Guy sez: "I will just go back to the music.  The sounds are always individual and open to interpretation.  They're filed under... "