Wednesday, August 10, 2011
"Baby you can drive my car."
It was worth the time and expense. Madame Blavatsky gave me a full body rub. The medium IS the massage. I received the monkey ball injections (please don't tell PETA...I've recently become a member). Also the yak sperm facials. Plus the bo tox derek. I'm a NEW MAN!
So what else should a less than potent, but mentally rejuvenated alpha male do to thwart a mid-wife crisis? BUY A NEW CAR! Yes, sir! There is no better way to scream to the faceless masses, that...I AM IMPOTENT, yet I drive a NEW, INTIMIDATING fossil fueled vehicle, that I will scare you upon the roads . Let me make up for my physical, mental and spiritual shortcomings, by OVER COMPENSATING with this hyper-sized metal machine.
Well, I tried to avoid some of that bit by getting a car that fits with my persona and philosophy. Astute viewers of this page have already noted that in my lifetime, I have owned 3 white cars ("los trios autos blancos"), plus a red car that was a wedding gift from my mother-in-law. I had to get another white car. And there it is...! A Rolls-Canardly! Rolls down one hill...Canardly get up the next! ("Taa-dah!")
Please note in the photo that the car is small. I've always driven small cars. Confidence. Nothing more need be said. And eco-friendly. Foot power. A high brow hybrid.
Oh, and as the foto reveals...there are the results of my recent spa visit. Trying to avoid obvious vanity...but I REALLY do think I look younger. I got rid of the hippie, I am Gandalf hair. Why would I want that? And the wardrobe? You don't think the MAD MEN look is cool? Retro-fifties, lets bring back the black-list and tie. Bongos are in the trunk. Or boot, as the British would say. And with my little white car...this boot is made for walking.